Sleep as a mother
Do you sleep? As a mother, I’ve found myself being humbled in this strange concept over the last 15ish months. Before baby, I was pretty set in my knowledge that if there was one thing I needed postpartum, it would be sleep. We got the Snoo (ha!) and dabbled in some sleep training. Did any of it meet my expectations? Nope. That was all expectation. But the reality is that we are now 15 months in to sharing our sleep space with our little human. We have some tough nights and the mornings (or even middle of the nights) typically result in some frantic googling of reassurance of “biological sleep patterns” and/or “homeopathy for sleep”, but we do love the cuddles we are getting with little one and in general, work in other ways to feel rested, outside of the traditional 7-9 hours of sleep.
In the work I do with my clients, sleep is always a priority. But the last 15 months have made me re-think what good sleep means for mothers. If someone were to tell me that I needed to find the time and space to get an uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep, 1) I’d find someone else to work with and 2) I’d laugh in their face. Because here’s the thing that I personally believe - most babies are not biologically ready to be away from mama for that long period of time yet. Some hit it earlier than others (and I’ve heard of these unicorns), but it is a developmental milestone like everything else a little one goes through. Our society makes it feel like we are failing if our children are not yet sleeping through the night and we aren’t getting the “rest we need”.
Hi. Just a reminder that society and social media loves to mom shame. But you are doing the BEST you can. Whether you’re a mama bear or a papa bear who is feeling this hard right now - you are seen.
So what do I do to feel reset and thrive without getting my 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep in this season of life? Here are a few tips and thought provoking “coaching via the web” questions that I hope can help you feel empowered:
Prioritize your self-care in other aspects of life. What brings you joy? What is stopping you from it? What would it take to do this at least one time each week?
Move your body in nature. I know it sounds counterintuitive (the whole move your body while you’re tired), but getting outside into nature, even barefoot in the grass for some simple forward folds and arms to the sky can make a world of difference. It gets your endorphins flowing and the vitamin D from the sun is healing in SO many ways. When was the last time you got outside and moved your body?
Practice sun & moon gazing to help trigger your circadian rhythm. When you rise, walk outside and gaze into the sun. Before you sleep, gaze into the moon.
Enlist your community! This is HUGE. Your community may be your family, friends, neighbors, spouse (trading off time is great) or hired help. Find someone you trust to watch your little(s) for just TWO hours a week and go do YOU. Don’t do your “to do list” (unless that brings you joy), do something that will fill your cup (and naps count here).
Consider adaptogens. Adaptogens help your body to “adapt” to stress. This could be daily stressors, the stress on your body of not getting regular sleep, etc. Adaptogens have been around for thousands of years, used by herbalists in China and India to help people build resilience in their bodies and minds. Adaptogens are best used over a period of time to allow you body to build up the resilience and adapt to stressors. Personal note here -> I think this made a huge impact on my postpartum experience. I’ve been drinking Rasa since Day 1 and I am a believer. If you want to read into the safety of nursing and pregnancy while using Rasa, there is a great post by the founder, here.
So, when I work with mom’s 1:1, I ask three questions about sleep: 1) What time do you go to sleep and what time do you rise? 2) Do you have a hard time staying asleep (and why - cue the children), and 3) Do you feel rested when you rise? A lot can be deciphered about one’s sleep patterns with these three questions. I won’t go into the answers I hear, but I will share that they spread far and wide and this offers a start for coaching in this space (and I am not referring to sleep coaching). We always touch on sleep during our coaching sessions, but I will never finger point or tell you the specifics of what you need in this season. I will coach you, guide you, to what you feel is best for your body and your mind and I can always help educate on sleep process and how it impacts our ability to heal, function, and thrive. For some, this is the 8 hours uninterrupted, for others, this is the little one in bed with them and finding other ways to thrive throughout the days and months of their children’s development.
Whatever you’re doing when it comes to sleep, mama, is up to you! But I hope this gives you a bit of courage to make a few changes to help you feel more rested in this season of life.
Inhale health. Exhale everything else <3
Hannah